THE DISAPPEARING DAYS #ENGLISH STORY

BIOLOGISEDTEAM™

11 Jul, 2022

The Disappearing Days

'Oh dear!' groaned the King of Incrediblania. 'Monday again, washing day the house full or soapy smells and the grounds full of washing. I positively dislike Mondays, and I cant stand washing day!'
'Why not abolish it, Your Majesty?' suggested the Lord Chancellor, who didn't like Monday either, because that was the day he had to put on his
heavy wig and elaborate robes and sign no end of documents.
'Hm,' said the King. He looked up 'abolish' in the royal dictionary and found it meant to do away with something and stop having it. 'An excellent
idea!' he cried. 'Yes, indeed, we shall abolish Mondays, and with them this horrible, damp, smelly, uncomfortable washing day business.' He sent for the Astronomer Royal and said, 'It is our royal wish that there shall be no more Mondays in the kingdom of Incrediblania. Kindly abolish
them, will you?'
'Ah, now, Majesty,' said the Astronomer Royal. 'And what does Your Majesty, in his wisdom, wish to do with the days that used to be Mondays?'
'Oh' said the King, who hadn't even thought of that. 'That makes it sort of awkward, doesn't it?'
'It doesn't do anything of the kind,' said the Queen, who had just come in from seeing that the royal washing was pegged out with becoming" royal dignity. 'All you have to do is have two Sundays and then go straight
on to Tuesday, so the day that was Monday becomes a second Sunday.' She sat down on the throne feeling delighted because she liked Sundays as she had her breakfast in bed then.
'Yes, of course,' said the King, trying to look as if he had thought of itbhimself. 'Two Sundays, then go straight on to Tuesday. Very well, Your Majesty,' said the Astronomer Royal, and drawing his telescope, he was off like the North wind, making all the doors in the palace slam at once.
Presently it was next week. The two Sundays came and went. The Queen had her breakfast in bed two days running, or rather she had her breakfast in bed two days without having to do any running as it wasn't washing day. The church bells went oft two days in succession and then it was Tuesday.

'Baskets and Banbury cakes!' roared the King, sniffing the air like a Ferocious greyhound. "Whats all this smell of soapsuds? why is all that
washing hanging out in the grounds? I thought I abolished washing day!'
'No, dear,' said the Queen. 'You only abolished Mondays, so washing day has to be on Tuesday now. And why are there only eleven of your
hankies in the wash? You used to have twelve?' 'To whatsit with the hankies!' cried the King. 'What's the use of my abolishing Mondays if washing day is going to be on Tuesday' But the Queen had gone out to count the clothes pegs and didn't hear him. 'Fetch the Astronomer Royal!' shouted the King. 'Tell him to abolish
Tuesdays too.'
'And have three Sundays in a row?' asked the Astronomer Royal, when he arrived.
'Well, yes, I suppose so,' said the King, wondering what the Archbishop of Incrediblania would say about all these extra Sundays.
'Three Sundays it shall be, Majesty,' snorted the Astronomer Royal, and he swept off like the West wind, blowing all the royal washing off the lines.
So next week the Queen had breakfast in bed three days in a row. She thought it was exceedingly royal and most enjoyable. Then came Wednesday, and again the palace was full of soapsud smells and the grounds were full of washing.
'Washing day again, or I'm a piece of stair carpet!' roared the King, ramping round like a caged lion. 'You're nothing so useful,' said the Queen. 'And it is washing day even though it is Wednesday.' And she went out to see if the new soap was getting the washing whiter than white as the advertisements said it would. So the King had another interview with the Astronomer Royal and finished up by telling him to abolish Wednesdays too.

'I'll get rid of these washing days somehow,' he declared.
'This,' said the Queen, having a luxurious* breakfast in bed for the fourth day in succession, 'is what I call royal living, I like this abolishing idea. We should do it more often.'
And that, of course, is just what the King found he had to do. Because with Wednesday rubbed out, Thursday became washing day, and when Thursday went the soapsuds and washing in the grounds took place on Friday. And, no sooner had the King got the Astronomer Royal to dispose of Friday, than Saturday was washing day.
'This is ridiculous!' cried the King. 'You're not abolishing these days at all! All you are doing is making the Queen have the washing done one day later each time.'
'Aha, but Majesty,' said the Astronomer Royal craftily, 'I am scientifically assisting Your Majesty to bring about the state of things which Your Majesty desires.'
'Well then, what do you suggest we do?' asked the King.
'Abolish Saturday,' said the Astronomer Royal. 'Her Majesty cannot possibly hold washing day on a Sunday. It isn't done. The Archbishop
would never stand for it. It's against the Incrediblanian law to work on Sundays. So if l abolish Saturday that makes it Sunday every day of the week and there can be no washing days at all.'
'Good gracious!' cried the King. 'What an idea! Yes, yes, abolish Saturdays, by all means, and let us have nothing but Sundays.'
'Right,' said the Astronomer Royal, who always had Sunday off and reckoned life was going to be nice and quiet from now on.
'Well, this is what I call being a Queen,' said the Queen, propped up in bed with assorted* royal pillows, sipping her tea and feeling exceedingly
luxurious. "Breakfast in bed every day and no washing to worry about I could go on reigning for ever like this.'

But every day being Sunday didn't turn out quite so jolly as Their Majesties expected. None of the shops ever opened so nobody could buy anything. The trains didn't run, and the buses went only to church and back. And as there was no washing day everything began to get rather grubby. The King couldn't tell whether he was wearing a white shirt, a coloured one or one with stripes, and several times the royal maids laid a rug on the dining table in mistake for a tablecloth. And the Archbishop of Incrediblania was absolutely worked to death, preaching sermons every day. The clergy" were exhausted, and, as people had nowhere to go except to church and nothing to spend their money on, the collections were enormous. They had enough to buy ten new organs and five new cathedrals, but as every day was Sunday they couldn't buy them or get them built. It was terribly frustrating. 'We can't go on like this,' moaned the King. 'We'd better have things back as they used to be; have washing day on Monday and get it over'
'That would not really be necessary,' Majesty, said the Court Magician.
'I could magic up a royal laundry somewhere nice and remote, say in the middle of the Imperial Forest, and all the washing could be done there and not in the palace at all.'
'A washerama!' cried the Queen, clapping her hands. 'What a lovely idea!'
'Right,' said the King. 'Get on with it at once.'
'Alas, Majesty,' said the Magician, spreading out his hands. "It is Sunday, and I am not allowed to work on Sundays.'
'Oh, all right,' said the King. 'We'll send for the Astronomer Royal and tell him to put things back as they were. Then you can get on with magicking up the royal laundry.'
'Alas, Majesty,' said the Astronomer Royal, when he was summoned. 'lt is Sunday, Your Majesty, and I am not allowed to work on Sundays.'
'Nonsense!' said the Queen, You worked on those other Sundays when we were abolishing washing day.
'Er, no, Majesty, if Majesty will pardon me,' said the Astronomer Royal.
'It was always Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and so on, when you ordered me to abolish that day and go straight on to the next one. When I finally abolished Saturdays and made every day Sunday I had to stop work. I can't work again until we get week-days back and I can't bring week-days back without working, so there we are.'
'B-b-b-but,' stammered the King, 'the servants still work every day'
'Ah, yes, Majesty,' said the Astronomer Royal. 'Domestic servants have always worked on Sundays. There was a special Act of Parliament passed saving that servants should be allowed to work on Sundays in order to get the beds made and the meals laid.'
'Well then,' said the King, 'we shall just have to pass an Act of Parliament saving that the Astronomer Royal may work on Sundays, and then the Astronomer Royal can put the week-days back, so that the Magician can magic up the royal laundry.'
'Alas,' Majesty, said the Prime Minister, when the King told him to call Parliament to pass the new Act. 'Parliament does not meet on Sundays. It
is against the law.'
'Oh, oh, oh, we are undone!' moaned the King, clapping his hand to his forehead.
'We are nothing of the kind!' said the Queen, who had had enough of this. 'Listen to me,' she said. 'Astronomer Royal, you are hereby appointed
Chief Table Layer to the Royal Household. That makes you a domestic servant and you can work on Sundays. Now, go and lay the dinner, and then put the days back as they were. And you,' she pointed at the Court Magician, 'can then go and produce your royal laundry, and we'll have no
more of this nonsense.'
So at last the problem was solved. Incrediblania got its week-days back. The Queen got her royal laundry. The King was free of washing day smells
in the palace and the Archbishop went back to preaching only one sermon a week.
But the Astronomer Royal always had to lay the dinner because the King never seemed to get around to abolishing his appointment as Chief Table Layer. Perhaps His Majesty felt there had been a bit too much abolishing done. You can't really blame him.

The Disappearing Days Questions

1. An Astronomer Royal is the Chief Astronomer of a country. What does an astronomer do?
2. Why would it have been the Astronomer Royals responsibility to change the days?
3. Why did the kings plan to abolish washing days go wrong?
4. What were the main drawbacks to having a week of Sundays?
5. This is a humorous story. Discuss what makes it so amusing.
6. Find out where the names of the days of the week came from.
7. lf you were able to have one day of the week abolished, which would it be? Write your reasons for choosing this particular day.

# The End!